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Q:Dear Biscuit,

I think all my sponsor stickers weigh my board down. Would should I do?

Matt Chump
Seaside Heights, NJ

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Biscuit Says::Ah, Matt, give it time. Taking that you probably don’t surf anywhere near the talent level of say, Dane Reynolds, you’ll eventually have to get a normal day job, maybe even married. You’ll get old, comfortable—possibly fat, like, can’t see my junk anymore fat—and then your sponsors will drop you. You will then have a properly balanced surfboard. Just be patient. – Crumb
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